Studying for the GRE has been difficult. I have this feeling that I need to know what I want to become for motivation. Yet, I am still clueless. So I decided that I needed to have a Tarot Reading, and it was helpful.
The Reader told me that I have issues to work out before I am ready. Just jumping into college will muddle things up. I had this feeling too, and it has been holding me back studying. I have some negative cards to work through, like doubt/guilt. If I don’t deal these first, even if I put a positive spin on things, the foundation will crumble. I need to replace my fears of failure with truly feeling I am a success.
My path is one that has not been taken before, so I am very alone. No one can tell me what to become (even the Reader), and I need to learn to listen to myself instead of the well meaning advice of others. I need to develop my Intuition, because I am pulling all the cards toward me. I have potential, and am reaching out to the unknown for answers to my career path issues. Most people do not pull the cards toward them.
In the end, I am to be the Fool, and jump off with no attachments. I cannot do this until I am ready. (In about two years.)
When asked about going back to college, I was told that it seems like I would enjoy it, but in the soft sciences (including Philosophy) . I was advised to take a career personality test, and it turns out I am INFP. Only 1-2% of the population has this personality. I have been looking for careers in the right area’s for my personality. This includes being an Artist, Librarian, or Writer. It also explains why I have so much trouble finding a job I would like.
I told the Reader about my idea of being a New Age Blogger, but had no idea how to make money from it. I was told that it wouldn’t hurt to try, and that I shouldn’t be focused on making money. They could not guarantee that this was the path for me, but that often times we do not understand our path until we look back at it. In retrospect, we will see how one job lead to another.
So I will try to resume Blogging instead of focusing on studying for the GRE. The purpose will not be to make money, but to walk my path. Writing helps me think. I have some issues to work through, like this feeling that everything will fall apart if I do not take action. (This was also mentioned in the Reading.)
I am writing out my Reading for my future reference. Otherwise, I will forget everything. I am very tired, and will likely sleep early tonight. Tomorrow is a free day for me. Seems like forever since I have had a free day.
Today, I did research… or was researched. Scientists put my brain in in MRI, and asked me questions. They are still looking for a difference between mentally ill, and non-mentally ill brains. It was very tiring. One of the scans sounded so funny that I wanted to break out laughing. I resisted.
I also attended a workshop on Shamanism, and am thinking of trying alternative healing… long story for another day.
Have a wonderful day,