I am reading about how our beliefs create our reality and part of me wants to test it out by using my beliefs to create a castle instead of a button. You see Abraham Hicks says it is as easy to create a castle as a button. That is my tendency when looking at houses. I look at the most expensive houses in an area first.

As for relationships, I am extremely picky. I am a friendly nice person, but I have a wall up. I easily talk to strangers, but have few friends. A majority of the time I do not look at people for their relationship potential instead I just focus on having a conversation in the moment.

I am okay with spending lots of time alone. When I don’t get my quality alone time I crave solitude.

Yet here I am directionless. Drifting along the stream of life. Yet the trick with life being a stream is that if you simply float on top of the water, the current will take you where you need to go. Sometimes learning to stay with our heads above the water is an art in and of itself. Especially when floating through the rapids.

I value stability, peace and balance. Yet all to often I dream of creating the castle instead of the house of buttons I have built up around me. So I study the metaphysical texts and get the basic concepts, yet the core of me is stuck to the old paradigm.

I stand in the middle ground. You might not see me in the middle ground, but it is as if my beliefs are torn between the way I was taught things were in school and the way I have been shown things can become if I change the way I look at the world.

Yet, I stagnate. The amount of beliefs I would need to change to create a castle instead of the button by button approach. I don’t know how to truly let go of those beliefs that tell me it is easier to make small simple things than big grand things.

I have had my share of wonderful vacations where I planned nothing and relaxation fell in my lap. And I wonder if happiness is near or I am nearly happy. Even if I did manage to create my castle goals, would I really be happy with them? Would I be happier in my house of buttons?

What are buttons?

Buttons are the things are we view as easy to create.

I have many beautiful buttons and have even talked to the button lady a few times before (not joking there is a store run by someone called the button lady nearby.) She is someone who knows the true value of buttons.

Buttons are not to be overlooked because all to often something that was once a castle, to you after you have acquired it, becomes just another button to throw amongst the rest and the button lady goes from garage sale to garage sale knowing the true value of what the seller does not know is valuable.

What are castles?

A castle is something that seems impossible to create without momentous effort. The Dream House. The Perfect Life. The American Dream. Streets paved of gold.

This is why I admire the Kpop group BTS so much. They were able to create a castle protected by an ARMY when others thought they would be stuck unable to make even a decent button. That they were able to believe in themselves despite the ridicule of others.

It is amazing the power of self beliefs and they were able to create it without listening to Esther Hicks, Darryl Anka or Jane Roberts. While I have all the knowledge to transform my beliefs to be a castle creator, but I don’t have the actual beliefs.

Every day I believe in myself a little more and perhaps someday I will be able to meet those I admire and be admired myself.

Or will I be a Button Lady? Living the simple life knowing full well I how the power to create as many castles as buttons?