I have been in a resting stage. The call to write in my blog has been shut off. Only last year I was blogging quite a bit. What can I say about my life lately? I have not been able to do artwork. I have not been called to write. I started craving meat after being a vegetarian for over 3 years and started eating meat again. In the stress of wanting to watch something, I did not have the money to do… I even pirated a channeler’s work (who will go unnamed to avoid lawsuits.) Now I have another channeling from him pirated and I am debating actually watching it.
I don’t get what is wrong with me, that I am dropping my highly held morals, and my need to occasionally pretend to be a guru on my blog.
I do not feel depressed, just cut off from the flow. I have continued to listen to audiobooks and bought an Abraham-Hicks book (that isn’t what I pirated) on audio even with my past avoidance of the topic. Part of me hopes, that if I follow the steps of the Law of Attraction, abundance beyond my wildest dreams will follow.
People on the forum on write on are all for Law of Attraction. I figure that there is no harm in the trying. They also post many links to a certain channeler’s recordings pirated.
I have also started using a bit more of Facebook. Still not nearly as much as many people use Facebook.
I have been supporting my family as well. The election hit many of my family particularly hard.
So mainly, I have been using my free time to surf the Internets. I stopped listening to Conspiracy Theory many months ago… maybe 2. The tapering off of a number of posts I write/artwork I create started about 5 months ago. The last three months have been dismal in the area of creativity.
I think there is a direct link between how much I post, and how hopeful I feel. I really wanted to make it as a big blogger. I wanted to prove everyone wrong when they said you should not start Blogging in the hopes it will be a job. Yet, for me, being able to have any hours and to write about things I enjoy seemed like the ideal job.
WordPress is a much friendlier environment than Youtube is. While I knew that having videos would help build my audience, I am not comfortable behind the camera. I would have to deal with comments about my weight and either put on make-up or get fewer views due to lack of make-up.
Perhaps next time I am alone at home, I will attempt another video on Youtube. Perhaps my Internet is fixed enough that it will upload faster.
I have been getting an involuntary muscle twitch. Perhaps I will record that to show my Doctor. It is very small and in my hand. Involuntary movement is sometimes a side effect of my medication. From the very beginning over 10 years ago, I started to get twitches about 3 times a year. This hand twitch has happened 5 times in one month. Along with a back twitch twice in a month. Yet, I am not worried about it, because if it gets bad enough they will be forced to take me off medication in order to get it to stop.