Beginnings

Today? Today is Monday!

The scene of the play of life remains very much the same as the pressure slowly increases. There is still water, wind, earth, and ether. Even if some would consider these puzzle pieces a bit dated.

When presented with an empty page, I am confronted with a question. What do I want to say? What is worthwhile for writing even if it is never read? A great deal of the time it is an emotion that sends the impulse to write as I channel the frequency of the emotion into a written form. Yet at times I get an urge to write without knowing why or what to write about. Oftentimes when this happens I write and delete. As I question the value and fluidity of the thought.

Unlike with spoken word, writing can be edited. A mistake upon reading can be fixed.

I have not been in the mood for listening to Law of Attraction teachings as of late, yet because I watched them in the past, it seems like half of what youtube suggests is another motivational speaker. The other half is Kpop gossip. My suggestions would be much different if I did not edit my viewing history. Whenever I get drawn into the clickbait side of Youtube I delete it out of viewing so as not to receive clickbait suggestions. I do, however, allow clickbait suggestions on the topic of Kpop and Law of Attraction.

The other day I wanted to make a Youtube video, opened up my camera and just stared at myself not knowing what to say. In the end, I concluded I express myself better in writing. I watch the Law of Attraction celebrities and tell myself, I could do this! Yet, I don’t do that.

What do you do with a person who listens to motivation speakers one after another, but who doesn’t ever get inspired to take a jump? A Jump with or without a parachute. On the other end is the ‘be happy with the now’ teaching, but that doesn’t really settle the mild feeling of discontent.

Overall I am happy and contented allowing life to flow as it will. Yet, my feeling that something could be different means that not only am I failing the ‘go out and seize the day’ technique to life, but I am also failing the ‘be happy and surrender to the now’ technique to life.

So I throw up my hands and say, ‘Enough with this spiritual stuff.’ Only my words are not quite that tame.

Many of the people who choose writing or reading over videos and watching are the introverted crowd. I am introverted as well, but find myself unable to veg out on Netflix or behind a good story. I can start a series and note that it is good, but I cannot finish the series. It seems that all that entertains me is spiritual teachings, but at times I just need to take a break.

What do I do on a break? Watch pointless Kpop videos until I am so bored I retire to bed early. Or play some pointless mobile game until I need a break from that weird system of work.

So I remain, neither content or discontent and momentarily bored. Not feeling like I want to read but the feeling I need to write. Not sure as to what to write about… mildly complaining seems like a good idea. Let’s write the complaints!

 

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