There is no great pondering in my mind in this current moment. No great guru moment of knowledge or insight to share. This moment is blessed. In the quiet stirring of the wind through the trees as the cars in the distance sound of a greater wind as their wheels go across the wet pavement.
It was a simple day, with a bus ride leading to me being trapped in a downpour with no umbrella. I ate at the cheap restaurant I frequent on Friday’s before the later hours make it too busy. I stopped by the sweetest coffee shop in town and bought an icy drink.
I returned home while it was still daylight. I returned to the silence and stillness of my apartment. I searched for hours on where to live once the lease ends in August and my roommate is off to California in their new marriage.
Now the sunlight is spent, so early and so late. The temperature will drop and tomorrow I work my eight-hour shift.
There was a pondering of what to base my life on when I am no longer needed with the help of family. What to do in that time when the hours become all for myself.
To base my life, on my current passions and whims. Perhaps then a career would become the most important aspect of my life? Perhaps I would pursue the pursuit of education. So long has it been since I have lived selfishly.
I vaguely wonder, what is the point of filling the hours with only a career. I vaguely wonder what will become of me, on my own after so many years.
I decided to close the book for now on OkCupid. I will let the Universe be my dating site. It shall bring to me the correct match with more accuracy than the weird questions on a website.