Why No Channeling?


It hasn’t felt right to Channel lately, it felt too much like I was hiding behind the one being channeled. So I have been trying to speak for myself. Even Channeling my Higher Self, would be reaching for a source thought to have more authority then me.

I do not mean this as a put down for Channelers, I just personally felt it is better to write as myself. So every now and then I will be inspired by an esoteric topic, but over all I just am in a state of being.

It is hard to Blog to report one’s personal news when in this state, the feeling in being is less of a need to question. With less of a need to question, I am not drawn to the dance of activating my brain to come up with an answer. Nor do I feel called to Channel so that others can answer for me.

It is hard to answer the question you don’t have.

I don’t even stop and ask, “What is my purpose?” For I know my purpose is to be. I can create as elaborate a purpose as I want to fill up the time. I am a creative creator. Vast are the tools and supplies used to craft a personal purpose.

Yet does the seed need to have a purpose to grow? It just takes in the sun, water and soil. The process is so natural that the plant can focus on anything that its little plant heart desires.

I think I have an advantage in understanding one’s creative abilities when related to creating one’s reality. For I have struggled to find clarity in a mind that was delusional. Somewhere along the way I have to discover the difference between the minds ability to create reality and delusion. For, excluding my Mania, I have walked the line between psychic ability and mental illness. Only during my Mania did I ever really hear voices, or see what wasn’t there. My issue was largely more nuanced.

I don’t know if I should search for a new Doctor who would be willing to decrease mediation or not. For I have been studying the reality of those outside the mainstream. Those who might Channel, or me Psychic. I have been trying to figure what makes them healthy, while me ill.

I do not know if I would be delusional now that my Thyroid is balanced. I don’t know if I was ever really delusional or so disconnected from reality by having to sleep 16 hours a day, that I was un-grounded.

I can hardly present my case to a Psychiatrist in the 15 minutes I see them. Plus, there is only one Intuitive I would trust to tell me good advice on the topic. Matt Kahn. He would be able to see past the Stagma of medication, and tell me if I honestly should be fighting to be given a chance to have less medication.

He has no openings, and I would have to wait over a year to see him. If I attend the Angel Academy, I might get a chance to ask him, but I do not want him to get in trouble for talking about such a controversial topic. It is actually illegal for an Medical Intuitive to tell someone they need to go off medication. If Matt Kahn says the wrong thing during a live call, I would feel I am at fault for any trouble he gets into.

So I guess I still do have a question. Its just one I’d not feel comfortable Channeling to find the answer myself.

Before you start thinking of me as a victim, forced by the medical system to take a medication. Know that everything is divine. I choose to be right on the line, to be so hard to define. I wanted to understand the nuances of reality.

I am not simply speaking of this from the position of being considered ill, or well. This medication impacts my mood on a daily basis. I can feel the difference since my Psychiatrist decided to increase my dose simply because he never prescribes this medication at a low dose. I went from going out and walking everyday to largely staying at home. I went from motivated on a diet, to unable to motivate myself to consider dieting.


Categories: Beginnings

2 replies »

  1. As a medical intuitive I will say that I would never tell you how to handle this situation. I would tell you what your energy says, what your physical,emotional and spiritual aura says and what you can do to balance yourself, your energy, naturally. Medications have their place and can, if used properly, aid in balancing the entire system. If you are feeling “off” from a medication, this in itself is saying that it is not aiding in a balanced system. How you decide to handle that should be answered from within, via your own guidance/HS knows better than anyone else. But then you already know that. 😉

    As for channeling, I think I can speak for everyone when I say we love what you have to say channeled or not. 🙂

    • Thank you, it is a difficult choice. I can imagine if I got on a call with Matt Kahn, I would be quickly in tears.

      The problem with my medication and imbalance is that there is currently no better of that kind of medication for me. Others had me sleeping 16 hours, or suicidal. This is frankly the best medication for this condition I’ve ever been on. I just notice the difference since the increase, and know it comes at a cost beyond money. I trust the Universe would seek balance for everyone, so that fate will answer my question for me.

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