Beginnings

A day well spent or a day well wasted?

little_catToday was not an eventful day. It was my day off, and being sick, I opted to stay in all day. No point spending this cold around when I don’t need to. I have been clearing my Throat Chaka with lots of coughing. I no longer feel very congested, and the cold never entered my head or nose.

It has been just my Throat that is itchy and sometimes congested. Being sick does not mean a lack of enlightenment, or that I brought this upon myself. It is just the natural course of things. My last big illness, my eye infection lead me to leave the world of gaming. This illness has brought me back to it.

So I have been gaming today. It certainly makes the time pass faster. I think there is one last lesson for me to learn in gaming. Maybe not the last one.

I did a little artwork the other day, before starting up the gaming. Yet, it is not digital so I can not as easily post it.

I am having trouble making one Bold change everyday. The way that Matt Kahn explained manifestation made sense, but I have been stuck in the same old patterns for so long that instead of moving forward, I am still motionless.

Due to my cold my one Bold action was to recognize that when you are sick it is fine to spend a little time in inaction. My Bold action was to give myself space to be sick.

I am so tired on many levels. It is different from my old kind of tiredness. It is a tiredness that every week seems to play out the same way. Friday being sometimes my only day off, and it passes so quickly. Usually Fridays are spent the exact same ways.

My pattern has been toward inward movement the past two years. For a while I was walking so much my leg muscles really showed. I was out and doing things, even if it was always the same kind of thing. When I started having to budget more, I withdrew. Suddenly I didn’t have the money to go out to the coffee shop. Suddenly I couldn’t eat out so often. I couldn’t invest in crystals or books at the local New Age store, so I stopped going there.

Now one of my jobs is even more isolating. I might have been putting more effort into Blogging, but I am feeling a deep loneliness. At my work places, I see the same people, I repeat the same tasks.

Just when I get motivated to change something, my budget choices keep me for forward movement. I get sick, which even further puts me in the stay at home mood.

It is a strange state where I want to expand and contract at the same time. I am tired of the same patterns, but seem to stick with them. I know change is coming to my life in the future. In the summer likely, my world could potentially transform.

I am not posting for views right now. Hence I have not been using any tags, and have not been getting views on my new posts. My old posts are popular lately.

Categories: Beginnings

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