Beginnings

Blogging about Blogging

little_personIt has been getting dark really early lately as is the sign of the coming winter. I am not really sure what to talk about, but feel drawn to post. I doubt this will be a popular post, but I have already reached my goal in views for the Month. I just need about 200 more views, and I beat last year’s number of views.

I have the disadvantage of writing often on topics that are considered too fringe to gain many views. To this day, my most popular post is on Jonghyun of Shinee from 2013. I recently realized that Disclosure is a hot topic.. when compared to my usual topics. I, however, do not know if I should continue to write about it.

I realize that I talk about one fringe topic after another. If my family read my Blog, they would likely worry about me. I am considered Schizoaffective (mental illness), and here I am talking about conspiracy theories. I Channel, and I talk about Sci-Fi stuff as if I do not understand the term Fantasy. I like to think of myself as rationally falling down the Rabbit Hole.

I understand the other side of the picture now. The worry about judgement based on posts, instead of worry what they would think if they knew. Before this March, I was in hiding and afraid of my own disclosure. Yet, I linked my Blog to Facebook, and for a while posted every entry on every friends Facebook. I have since then created a Page for my Blog. I do not get as many Facebook views, but my audience was never the Highly Religious crowd that is my large family. The point was not go get an audience from my family, but to boldly tell everyone my secret. Facebook was the best place to do so.

I prefer Blogging to Facebooking. I was only into Facebook before it was popular, and when they had lots of pointless games to torture me with. I realize they still have lots of pointless games, but I overcame that addiction 6 months ago. Near the end, I was hugely addicted to Battle Camp.

When playing the Sims in my youth, I remember vaguely imagining how cool it would be if I were able to actually earn the money in the game as real money. Being imaginative I pictured in a daydream that it was somehow vital to the continuation of the world, that I play the Sims. Therefore, a really rich person offered to pay me the fake money I earned in the game in dollars. I don’t remember the vivid details of this daydream, but it was fun to think of none the less.

Yes, I have a vivid imagination, and it is even more wild without medication dulling my thought process. When I was a child I walked with my head to the ground, never looking up except to cross the street. I was in my own world, and needed no input from passing cars to make it interesting.

If there were a job where you just got to daydream, without having to record the daydream into a book, I think I would be an high achieving employee. Once you have to mold your daydream to entertain others, you lose some of the essence. Once you have to stop to write down the dream, you need to translate it into words.

I am fine with writing Blog posts, but have failed writing my Fiction Novel many times. I am a writer in that I write, but I write like I talk. I am not seating here describing what the computer looks like. Not only would I have to describe the computer, but it would have to be poetic enough to entertain. While I have a concept of which posts will do well, (and am sometimes hugely surprised) I do not worry about the poetic-ness of my verse, or write to entertain. Likely why my Blog has not been an overnight success.

This is the longest I have ever stuck with the same Blog. I admit to checking my views when I get bored. The main reason I do not ever post videos, is that I cannot hide my weight in a video the same I can with a camera angle. Most people would not understand I have Hypothyroidism. I’m afraid I’d lose views just because I do not wear make-up and am not the right weight. I don’t wear make-up because there are a great deal other things I would rather spend money on.

I think that adding my own Youtube videos would be a way to take this site to the next level. I need to either have audio or video. I wonder how much a camera costs.

Categories: Beginnings

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