I am waiting for the time to pass. Only 2 more hours until the ride to Lake Michigan. I will admit to being on the Information Desk at work. It is Intersession and there is no one to help. Soon it will be busy again, and I will not be able to post from work. During the slow summer, while most Students are out of town, I get used to the quiet. It will be such a contrast the first day of University.
The whole city changes phase from Summer to Fall. In Summer is business everywhere is slow. I like the Students, as I was once one. I can still pass for a Student. I look young, and plan on staying looking young as long as possible. I am almost 30 now. I do not have many of the life milestones of a 30 year old. So much of my 20’s was spent being ill, that I just missed them.
I do not have the things our society looks for to call a person successful. My job is equal to the career level of a college student. As it is Part Time, and usually filled by a college student. (Hence the ability to post at the Desk. If I had a task I could complete while at the desk it would be different. Yet, I have no job other then to help patrons, and check in books.)
I just lack the motivation to find a stressful job to be considered successful. I can get by with Part Time due to my Disability. I have no idea how much stress I can handle, but don’t feel rushed to push the limits. I am actually the type that is best Self-employed.
I still feel I help society. If only by being a calm presence not caught up in the stress of work. People who are stressed have little energy to smile at the cashier. From my place of calm I can make the cashier who has had a hard day feel better. They will apologize for being backed up, and I will make sure to Tip them so they know I do not care that I have to wait. When a Batista is slow getting your drink, it is often for good reason. They are working extra hard.
It is strange the impact that calm energy can have on a city filled with stressed out Students. I work in the very library where so many work to the point of exhaustion. I walk sober through a downtown filled with Students escaping stress with alcohol. I carry a perspective outside of what has been jammed into their conscious as important.
I don’t have to spend the day filling out pointless paperwork to help society. In fact I think I would help society far less if I did. Perhaps it isn’t me that is unsuccessful, but society that needs to understand success.