I thought that making up my mind to study for the GRE would put aside the debate of Librarianship vs Less Conventional Path. Yet, as I study I cannot help, but think how much more I enjoy studying metaphysical material. Still, I continue to be unable to imagine a education path that includes them. Respected Universities don’t have Professors that publicly study New Age topics, like the path of a Lightworker. They must keep their interest secret or risk people losing respect for them.
It is sad that so little respect is given to these new ways of thought. A person could get lost studying all the information, and people do. They, however, can only find jobs in the field as psychics, and such. I have no desire to be a psychic or medium. I am more interested in the the intellectual information, and some of it is gold.
I don’t know what to do. I am limited in how far I can travel for a college, and want a job at the end of my schooling. A non-psychic job. I don’t imagine much financial support being given to a metaphysical college.
For so many years, I had no idea what I was interested in. I went into art school because people said I was good at art. I figured it would be more fun then other fields. I thought just having a degree from a good University would open up jobs, even if I didn’t plan on continuing in art. I might be able to pursue art and study the metaphysical. (You need ideas for art projects somewhere, and the art field is open to many MANY concepts.) If I wanted to continue making art, I might even become a successful New Age Artist. I still have the block to creating artwork to overcome.
I don’t want to continue in Art School, but might need it to make connections. (I am not good at creating connections.) I think I’d need Art School to get back on my feet creating artwork. There were parts I hated about Art School. Yet, it was fun to meet all the challenges thrown at me. The problem is, that without a challenge to meet, I lack inspiration.
Yet, I might end up where I am now, mostly jobless. Also admission would be tricky. I didn’t do as well documenting my artwork as I would have, if I planned on continuing. So I’d have to remember how to do art, and create a portfolio.
This idea deserves some thought. I feel crazy to go back to Art School, but it might afford me the freedom I desire. The hard part of Art School comes after the schooling, when you need to make money. Yet the reason I flopped after schooling the first time was my illness. I just wasn’t together enough to put forth the passion. Art takes a lot of passion. Lacking it, I couldn’t create anymore.
This would be a long path to take. It might take a while to remember how to do Artwork (I still have that block). I might want to try living as an artist for a while before attending school. I’d try to get into some local shows for my college application. College admission will wonder what I have been doing all these years. I cannot answer, “I lived in my room 24/7 trying to overcome my illness.”
I am good at the conceptional part of artwork. Even this debate, ‘Librarianship vs Less Conventional Path’ could be a good topic for artwork. I debate things with myself all the time, ‘Psychic vs Schizoaffective Bipolar.’ ‘Science vs Metaphysical.’ All these things, if I remembered how to create them visually, are good material for Art. I can write about being upset that mainstream Science doesn’t respect the Metaphysical, and people interested in the Metaphysical will read it. Yet, if I create good enough artwork about it, even some mainstream Scientists might consider it.
You see through this Blog I have, sometimes, been doing the Conceptional side of artwork. I just discovered that the Conceptional side works without the visual part. It is so much easier to just write (for me), but the audience is limited to people interested enough to read the Concept. If you capture a person with that 10,000 word picture, curiosity will make them read the Concept.
I have a need to communicate my thoughts. This is common to Artists. This need is the driving passion behind a great many masterpieces.
I was so frustrated in Art school people didn’t always understand my Concepts. To me it would be as clear as day, but not to others. I didn’t know that my brain works differently, so that what I think is clear involves some major conceptional leaps. Conceptional leaps are what a Schizoaffective and/or Bipolar brain is good at. I am getting side tracked, sorry.