I write for myself

Would you write if no one was going to see it? A post becoming more of an online journal. When I think about how I have learned manifestation works, I wonder why was it not taught to me in the beginning? In my mind are a bunch of contradictory beliefs that leave me unable to manifest a solid belief system, much less a button.

I have heard about the Law of Attraction. I have studied it and I have also listened to those who have mocked it. In the end of all my research I am as muddled about manifestation as I am about politics or a majority of life.

I am outside my usual cheerful outlook at the moment. I went down memory lane in a post about my past experiences yesterday, but I decided to return that post to draft form.

All my years of study and my major conclusion is ‘I don’t know,’ in all the topics in which I have become aware of. I indeed feel like a fool, but not the tarot fool who bravely steps out into the unknown.

Moments like this will come and go. I could listen to countless information on how the Universe works…

No. My mind objected to what I was about to say. There is knowledge I have come to believe. Usually when I get lost in confusion Bashar pops into my head at some point. “Is this the reality you prefer to create?” The obvious answer in these moments is, “No.” The Bashar in my mind continues, “Well then create another one.”

Yet, this time when I was wallowing in misunderstanding, I remembered that I do believe in the Five Universal Laws.

First Universal Law

“You exist…you always have and you always will. You are eternal.”

Second Universal Law

“Everything is here and now.”

Third Universal Law

“The One is the All and the All is the One.”

Fourth Universal Law

“What you put out is what you get back.”

Fifth Universal Law

“Everything changes except for the first four laws.”

On every other topic my mind can twist me into a tangled mess.

Explanation of why I went from alignment to misalignment? I had been writing strong with increasing views, but suddenly my views dropped off. I can explain this away from information I heard down some of the conspiracy rabbit holes.

I wrote a draft in frustration that I never published, and even talked to my sister about it. I am not sure she really believed me. This is the true secret to why I often get discouraged blogging. I will be getting consistent effortless views. Within an hour of publishing a new post several people have read it and liked it.

Then I publish a post that gets no views until maybe the next day one or two people see it. I write again and that post gets even less. I continue trying until I give up and several months later when I try again, suddenly getting likes and views is easy again.

So I was thinking, did I manifest this from the belief system taught to me down the rabbit holes? Did writing that unpublished post in frustration, was that like casting a spell on myself? Furthermore talking to my sister about it. Even bigger manifestation.

Or is the explanation that was given down the rabbit hole the real reason? Either way I was faced with reality, but reality of what? Part of me is afraid writing about this experience will only decrease my view count more. Part of me hopes that writing this experience will be enough to dig me out of the manifestation of old belief systems.

Can a person really choose their reality? Can I really choose a reality where I am heard and understood? I do so enjoy when it is easy to get views and likes. I get to thinking maybe, perhaps, this time I can stay within the rules of society despite being a square peg whereas society only accepts round holes.

So I am back to the question of, ‘Why do I write?’ Am I writing this for likes and approval? Do I need the validation of others reading my posts in order to write a post?

I write because it is my highest excitement at that moment. As Bashar says, “Follow your highest excitement to the best of your ability WITHOUT ANY INSISTENCE ON THE OUTCOME.”

And indeed Bashar, I was following my excitement and it enabled me to view old belief systems. I have a belief system that if I speak too much on certain topics I will be muted. I write dancing around those topics like I am in a field where a flock of geese frequents and I am trying to keep my shoes clean.

My desire to express myself outweighs my fear of being unheard, unseen, unacknowledged. I will publish this post. I will follow the excitement of expression to the best of my ability. I will not censor for fear of manifesting through what I write. I will fearlessly write.

I still tip toe around the bird poop. I have no intention of airing all my belief systems out on the balcony. Just this experience of views suddenly dropping off, I feel excited to talk about it. To write it. To publish it. WITHOUT ANY INSISTENCE ON THE OUTCOME.

Categories: Blogging

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2 replies »

  1. I write for myself, but I also keep my audience in mind. That means I get to choose what I want to write about, but I try to make the reading experience as enjoyable as possible. After all, I’ve found that my true joy in writing comes from the sharing bit. Thanks for this post!

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