I have been in an interesting state where I seem to be unable to continue writing on the same topics I once did. It is like the more I mature the less I know and the less I feel the need to speak about it. In part it feels like I was given this great creative talent to draw and write, so I could be a voice in the darkness. Yet, instead I do anything but shine.
I used to write extensively about my spiritual path on my opinions of different concepts and my underlining feeling that many the differing paths were only differing in vocabulary that if you learned the language of the many paths you could talk to them all dissolving the boundaries.
I have been in absorbing mode for years now. Turning my ear to hear instead of my voice to speak. The more I listened the more the need to speak decreased. Yet, I need some sign of progress in my life. I have been at the same employment in the same location so long. When really my dream is to be able to roam and work for myself over the internet.
I enjoy my apartment don’t get me wrong, yet we are approaching the winter months in Michigan. The time when I am most discontent with where I live due to the long hours of darkness and cold.
So I throw myself into social media. The invisible internet world hoping to get enough of a following to be at least an influencer. Yet, the process seems superficial when if I could just remember the naivety I started out with, I could write like I knew what I was talking about. Yet, the truth is I never knew, I just put on my guru mask and pretended.
So the truth is that I never held the secret answer, I just dreamed of being a writer and I wrote. Just as sometimes I dream of being an artist and I draw. I always knew that what I wrote was quality enough and what I drew was skilled enough that if I could conquer the social media aspect I could make a living off of it.
So Instagram, my intention is to learn your formula!