I have been in the midst of life. Reframing my perspective. There are many avenues into which to approach any given subject and I have been working on the middle way. I continue to follow the same internet sources, but even with new players on the field the promises made have yet to arrive. Big players who have been in the game for years are stating change is only months away. Yet, having heard these claims of change being months away for many years now, I am cynical on the topic to say the least.

At any given moment I can be proved wrong. Don’t get me wrong. I am just expressing my thoughts. Just portraying my reality. I am tired of falling down rabbit holes. There are so many out there.

So I am asking myself, outside of the internet what would be my beliefs. I actually had a hard time letting go of some beliefs over the years. Beliefs attached to fear.

The internet seems to be a place filled with one belief system after another. I used the different perspectives to wedge out some beliefs that were not serving me. The internet is like a magical book on steroids, but is also a web. And people can get caught in the web.

As far as I can see, it is not a web of lies. Too easy to dismiss it that way. It is a web of beliefs held in words. Yet, I do not indeed to get lost in the web. Sources pointing to sources, sourcing themselves.

To use a New Age term, my manifestation abilities have been in synchronicity mode. Making me wonder at times if some big internet players are secretly reading my blog. I still make a statement to a friend and commentary on it will appear out of the mouths of internet gurus, youtube stars, and spiritual teachers. Also I have noticed my posts having a huge impact on the above mentioned.

Many channelers have been stating that the timelines are collapsing. Do you know what this could mean in less New Age terms? The dividing walls between the pockets in our society are dissolving. People will no longer be able to isolate in groups (large or small) creating a reality apart from the rest.

Now I shall change topics to something that was reminded to me yesterday by a BTS theory video. It stated that the members were in purgatory and needed to remember their death to reach paradise.

I have three death points I sometimes think about in my life. The channeler Darryl Anka along with other New Thought sources seem to believe that if you die before your time you are shifted to a timeline in which you did not die.

I have written about death point one, if not on this blog before. I forget if I wrote about it here, but instead I want to talk about death point two and three.

Death point two is the reason I am currently being medicated. I literally walked into a church and said something along the lines of, “I know I’m dead and I need help in transcending.” Not just on a whim, I could vaguely envision that I had been murdered, even if I had no memory. Or I wondered did my stress lead me to kill myself in a moment of weakness.

I could more easily let go of this as what others called a delusion, if a scar had not appeared in a very private place with no explanation of how it arrived. The scar is there just as inexplicably to this day.

So many possibilities arise from this. I could indeed be in purgatory and BY GEORGE either no one else realizes they are in purgatory or they are really good actors (sometimes very bad actors) or I jumped to a timeline in which I did not die so am in fact alive.

Death point three was from a side effect of medication. It made me very suicidal. So I tried to kill myself. Here again I am in purgatory, but this time by my own hands. Part of me thinks that if I just admit that I know I can get out of purgatory, but part of me hides this because the answer to such talk is so often to dull the person with more medication.

I have no memory of death, but at times feel like I am dead and at the same time very much alive. I wish I could talk freely about timeline shifts in the way it effects me without fear of increases in medication. For the last time I started to open up, suddenly my Doctor increased my medication giving me no reason why.

So you need to speak very carefully within the bounds of what is accepted because a great majority of the population would medicate the Yogi for their beliefs. As I give a link to my blog to my therapist who could have easily passed it on to the Doctor who is willing to increase my medication without giving me a reason. Along with having passed the link to my blog to my family. Even if they never check my site there is the possibility they might.