Wondering if I was wrong…

pine_forest In my town there are many homeless who will ask you for money downtown. Every now and then I will give a little money, on impulse, but usually I say ‘Sorry.’ I do not walk past ignoring them like many. (I don’t carry cash most the time anyway.)

The other day I was exiting a Coffee Shop. Right away, a man was waiting and said, “Do you have a moment, it could save my life.” I assumed he was going to ask for money, and disliked that he would use such a strong statement to do so. So I said, “Sorry,” and walked away.

Now I am wondering, what if he wasn’t asking me for money, but suicidal. I should have at least heard him out.

Chances are 9/10, he was asking for money, but there was the 1/10th chance he wasn’t. How would I feel, if I made such a statement, and someone walked away.

So he likely thinks I am heartless. There are so many people asking for money downtown, that I avoid certain areas and walk the longer way to avoid them. If I didn’t know the ways to walk to avoid the spots, I would say that you cannot walk in downtown Ann Arbor without being asked for money.

It is a great city, but at times Churches have had to open their doors on Winter nights to keep the Homeless from Freezing. Michigan Winter is no joke. There was even a tent community of homeless for a while, on empty land by the Highway. A few New sources covered the community and the land owners decided to push them out.

I know those who think that the Homeless are just not using the facilities to help them. The truth is that the facilities are not there. Michigan is not the state you want to be Homeless in. Winter is cold, and colder without shelter.

So I feel sorry that I was so taken aback by the statement that I didn’t listen. That is a moment that will appear in my Life Review. Lets hope that the good I’ve done, outweighs the times I’ve failed to be a being of Light. For we all make mistakes. The point is to make the right choice more often then not.

I wonder how Matt Kahn would have reacted to such a statement being thrown at him, as he walked through a door.

You see, without my family, would have been Homeless. Without Disability I wouldn’t be able to live in a nice place. (I have a roommate, and without a roommate paying half the rent, could not afford to live here.) I would have to go to the library to use the Internet. I couldn’t have good food.

The distance between me and Homelessness has been thin for a long time. If my family had refused to let me move back home for those years I was sleeping 16 hours a day…

I would have been on the streets instead of a bed. I wouldn’t have been sleeping as I wouldn’t have been able to afford medication. Medication is what had me sleeping so long.

My thyroid would have still been off balance so they might have sent me to a mental hospital. They would have put me on medication and I would have slept a long time in the hospital. I doubt they would have ever given me the care need to discover my thyroid imbalance. They might have tried another medication to make me sleep less. Yet, those never worked for me. I don’t know what conclusion they would have been able to come to.

I do not need to think too deeply into what might have happened. It would have been a long road. The point is. I recognize the short distance between me and Homelessness. When the Homeless ask for money, I think it unfair that they are on the streets while I am not, just because I am considered disabled.

It is hard to explain this feeling. It can be hard to be on disability, in ways you didn’t think. Especially when your disability is invisible.

Categories: Beginnings

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