I did a Life Purpose Reading for myself. I asked the Angels to show me the Life Purpose that would make me the most happy. At the moment I believed that contrary to some beliefs I had come across, I had a choice in what Life Purpose to pursue. I didn’t take a picture or contemplate it to long. It was clear from the combination of Creative Expression in present, and Artist in future, what the answer was. I don’t quite remember the past card, it was something like ‘Time to Shine.’ If I remember I will take a picture of the spread
I double checked the cards and there was a card for Writer and Author, yet I chose Artist as what would make me most happy. Wait just a moment, I thought. This doesn’t remove the block I have to doing artwork. Even if it would make me the most happy, I still have not been drawn to regularly create visual art for a long time. I’ve made half-hearted attempts to recapture the passion I once had, but it has never worked.
So I asked the Angels, how exactly am I supposed to overcome this block. I thought Kyle Gray’s Angel Prayers Oracle card would be the best choice for the answer. Only I would modify the 9 card spread again. This time the spread would be similar, but in the place of the ‘Family position’ I used ‘Home.’ In the place of ‘Relationships’ I used ‘Outdoors.’ The final row was the same however, ‘Employment.’
I will not explain all nine cards, but will point out the ones that stood out most to me. The action cards. At home I need to Pray about the topic. Outside I need to Enjoy Nature. At work I need to find Creative Expression. The strength was Manifestation, the heart was to Enjoy Nature, and the challenge was Forgiveness. At the end of the reading I checked the card which had fallen out, ‘Inner Voice.’ I had been puzzled by understanding what I was supposed to Forgive, but this reminder to look deep within helped.
My Inner Voice told me I needed to Forgive Art. I had pursed Art with passion, but felt like my passion had lead to failure when I was misdiagnosed Bipolar. I have blamed many things for my loss of desire to do artwork. I have blamed going to Art School for taking the fun away from Art. Yet, the real problem is the feeling a betrayal. I, apparently, blame becoming Mentally Ill, on being so passionate. I have been afraid to put as much passion into anything since.
You might think I sound pretty passionate sometimes, but you didn’t meet me before I was labeled disabled. You didn’t meet me before my hand had been burned by the fire of passion. Now I try to do artwork, and it doesn’t feel the same, because I am afraid to feel the same.