I’ve had moments with God, but nothing like this. Moments where I felt God’s presence as I realized God sees all of me, even my darkest parts, and he still Loves me. I was incredibly moved that someone who has seen me at my worst still Loved me.
Yet, never has a wind blown in my room, or a light shone in the darkness. I’ve had my depressing moments too. Moments where I begged God to please kill me. I couldn’t do it myself (didn’t want to hurt my family), but I just begged in begged. No voice answered these Moments, it was not until years later that I was able to feel God’s Love.
So I am a little jealous reading this just like I was jealous hearing about Saints as a child. I didn’t understand why God only choose some people to talk to. I still don’t really understand.
AngelicView: I want to share this amazing STE (Spiritually Transformative Event) with all of you today. Thanks to John for sharing your story 🙂
In the late winter of 1984, I was despondent and contemplating suicide. I had acquired two razor blades and had a plan to end my life. From that despair came the greatest spiritual experience that has ever happened me. Here is the story of the night God visited me.
In 1983, I entered monastery in central Minnesota. At this time I won’t go into all the background about my life, but I was troubled on a lot of different levels and I had become convinced that I needed to go to the monastery to pursue a life of contemplation and spirituality. I felt estranged from my family, sort of a failure at college, a failure at relationships, without too many prospects for a good future. At…
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I think we have all felt that way. I don’t know the answer to that either. According to most STE’s, G-d shows the experiencer that he (or she) was always with them and it was just they who could not hear or feel. However, this person in the situation above… was he in a great enlightened position to see/hear/feel G-d? Any more than the rest of us? I doubt it.
I think maybe it’s a little more like… our Other Dimensional Helpers (God/Guides/Angels) can see forward in our timeline a bit – and they KNOW that we WILL eventually work it out ourselves. And perhaps that is our soul’s wish – to work it out ourselves – even though it may take years, because that is a better way to grow, learn, and experience (in the long run) than having a big “a-ha” moment like the experience above. But maybe in this particular case, they could see that he was NOT going to make it through and that he WAS indeed going to commit suicide if they did not intervene.
Also, most of these people who have had experiences like this feel a great need to share the experience with other people. Could it be that our souls are nudging us toward these teachings because they want us to be able to learn from each other’s experiences? I think so. 🙂