Within hours the New Year approaches. There is much talk from psychics and astrologers about the New Year on Youtube. Some of the talks can unearth worry over the future, but I have only paid half attention to them. I think of the Bible saying, ‘A thousand may fall at your side, and ten thousand on your right hand, but it shall not come near you (Psalm 91:7.)’ So instead of worrying about the coming year I am looking to pray daily and spend more time with God.

My ability to focus has decreased and my short term memory is not what it once was. I am in a state where my mental abilities seem to have diminished and I am aware of things I used to do effortlessly taking much effort. I remember the years I spent listening to audiobooks as I traveled around Ann Arbor. I was able to focus on such speakers as Alan Watts, enchanted by his thought process. Now I am unable to listen as intently as before. Perhaps the act of writing will train my mind to focus.

Daily I say a prayer for the healing of my mind. I am beginning to hope that my mind is not diminishing, but instead in the process of transforming. Perhaps this is a common part of the ascension process spiritual teachers speak about. Meditation seems to be a big step for me right now. My monkey mind is stronger than before and, while it is no longer paranoid thoughts that I have to ignore, everyday thoughts interrupt my focus.

Perhaps I can recover what I have lost with effort. Perhaps my brain can recover from the effects of my illness. While I was searching for a new medication to replace the one that stopped working, I ended up in the hospital a number of times. Now that I am again stable, someday, I might regain the focus I once took for granted.

I hang onto hope for the New Year that with the help of prayer both the world and myself can recover. Perhaps the sailing will be smooth and the water pleasing to the touch. Perhaps we only need to listen to where God tells us to let down the net and we will catch more fish than we can carry. With God’s grace we can have an overabundance in a world that feels like everyone is pinching pennies.

I intend to show a little more faith in God in my writings. Last night I pictured myself sitting down to praise the Lord. It seems that speaking in such a way does not come naturally to me. I try to get a good amount of steps in each day, but I decided to stop and write just to see where it took me.

Let us raise our cups for the New Year only hours away. Likely it will already be here as you read this post. Happy New Year!