Years ago my dream was to have an Internet business so I could travel and work from anywhere in the world with a signal to the Internet. I dreamed of writing a book so I started posting on my blog to practice writing. The draw to writing, and sometimes even my artwork, was so that I could build a following to make a living online.

I followed several rabbit holes in my search of the Internet only to hop out of the hole to think for myself. My study of spirituality taught me to look at the world in a rare way. To understand that people have many belief systems, but are often looking for happiness, abundance, and most of all LOVE.

I learned to base my own beliefs on what was most beneficial to finding these things.

Years ago, I would post almost everyday. Only I was not getting enough feedback so I switched to forums. On forums I got feedback, even if I did not like it all the time. As my belief system changed I realized that in my journey for truth online I might have misguided others.

What would happen if I tried one more time to write and express myself? What if I had enough abundance in life that I didn’t need a following. I think with all those old posts (over half converted back to draft and not available on the site) I have written a book. A series of short stories often centered on spirituality.

I wrote my first book on this blog. A open ended book and after taking over a years break I am wondering if I should practice writing again for my second book.

Am I willing to let go of my negative belief in censorship (picked up in a rabbit hole) and realize that the act of writing is the enough even if my message is for the few.

Thank you those who have taken the time to read my writing. Thank you for listening. I have been quiet for so long out of fear. Thank you for reading my blog in the past.

To those who read in the future, whether I am well enough to continue writing or turn into the silent hermit again (because I do not feel wise enough to speak), Thank you.

I read once to never speak of having few readers on a blog. Also to not apologize for a lack of posts. Perhaps this is good advice, but why write something other than what I am feeling.

I would like to think I have become a better writer over the years. I know I am a gifted artist. Yet it is called a gift because each post or image is a gift to another. A present for another created in my present moment.

These words will freeze my train of thought in place. It translates the stream of who I am in this moment into words that do not move. Yet, this AM that I am would not be thinking these words unless I was writing. I’d be listening to livestreams letting others direct my thoughts.

So I have created another something. Another gift to be given. I do not live to create, I create to share. Some people have a need to create art or writing regardless of attention. I am more often in the silent moment when not creating.