I have returned with coffee. Energy level much higher then before. Typing speed faster. The day has finally been Caffeinated, and I might very well be up late tonight. God only knows why this resort to coffee has given me the song, “The Wheels on the Bus,” in my head.
One does not have to contemplate the wonderful workings of caffeine too long. Just wanted to tell you that caffeine has a major effect on me. Namely because I am on a medication that amplifies its effects so much that a cup of tea often is enough caffeine for me. Yet, asking for a special quick break to grab tea wasn’t going to sound quite as necessary as I need coffee. Result? After I am done writing this, I might very well start pacing back and forth.
Yet, I have come to appreciate the powers of tea and coffee over the years. When I was in the drugged out sleepy phase, caffeine was the only thing that enabled me to briefly feel normal. The difference in mood was so great that I wondered if I was not in a long term depression. One so mild I kept telling myself I wasn’t depressed, yet far to long lasting to be normal. Little did I know my thyroid was off balance effecting my energy level. So I was in a long term energy low. It wasn’t until my energy returned with a balanced thyroid that I realized that I wasn’t really depressed at that time, just tired.
I made it through the constant tiredness. Granted I have my tired moments still, but the amount of my day in which I sleep/am tired has decreased greatly. The question of my life has changed from ‘why I am I so tired,’ to ‘what am I going to do with my life?’
I have had my feet on the ground for a good amount of time now. Motivation is greater, as in I am able to do artwork again, and Blog more often. Big changes are on there way in Fall. I will have to either find a new roommate, a new place to live, or even go live in a co-op.
The persistence of my Phobia to driving holds on. While it saves money, this Phobia, it makes life in the United States harder. Quick trips to the grocery store are out of the question. As not only does it take a good half hour to get to the grocery store, but I have to carry whatever I buy home. So I have to push my little cart from my home to the grocery store, if I want heavy items. Then at the end, I need to carry by cart up the stairs (I’m on the second floor).
I have to admit, that through saving money, I have been buying less fruit. I have a sweet tooth so the only thing that keeps me from having too much sugar, is substituting that sugar for the sugar in fruit. I think my biology is set up to eat lots of fruit. Some people have systems where they would face trouble being a vegetarian. I seem to lack the need for meat to the point that I always have enough protein in my blood tests, and Doctors think it is a good thing I am vegetarian. For example when they state I only have good cholesterol, I say, “Its because I am mostly vegetarian.” They tell me to continue to be a vegetarian.
My body is just set up to be a plant eater. I don’t even miss meat that much. I only miss it because there are limited non-meat options at restaurants. I still remember the first time I decided to eat meat after three years of pure vegetarianism. It felt so weird in my mouth. It tasted so funny. Yet, as I now had pork thyroid as a medication, there was no point to be 100% vegetarian anymore. It would have been a lie. So I decided to eat meat once a week, ethical meat only. When I try normal meat, all the chemicals upset my system.
I have gotten no response from the vegetarian co-op I inquired about. Which might be a good thing. I had a feeling they went further then just vegetarian.
Back much later. My head is stuffy again now. This results in a mild headache, and I wonder if I had too much caffeine. Either way, this is doable. Maybe I was so tired yesterday because I’m fighting something in my system. I’m rubbing certain locations on my head. When I get a headache the location between the eyes, where the glasses press down on the face, needs to be rubbed. Also the location between my eyebrows, and the temples. The headache just tells me which pressure points need to be worked on in the head. Today it is mainly between the eyes.
Tomorrow is Easter. My Mother is putting the pressure on me to go to Mass. I am in the debate mode. I feel no religious obligation to stand around for a few hours with a bunch of people praying. As the religious organizations go, the Catholic Church is improving. It is making attempts to change its past mistakes, and holds a lot of potential.
All and all, I’m more of an Interfaith kind of person. Telling my Mother this has her pushing more then ever for me to go to Mass.