Beginnings

Trying to find the silver lining in the noise

I have posted about the ringing in my ears before. Today it seems to have a new dimension. I am inside, but it sounds as if I am outside. Normally, I have to focus to get this effect. Yet, as I have been surfing the web, and tired. I realized that it feel like a gentle wind is blowing and bugs are making small noises.

In a month I think I will be going off the medication that causes this ringing in my ears. There is a chance that it will be permanent, and considering how many years I have been ignoring the sound, as it slowly got louder, this chance might be high. I pray, literally, that it will go away. I pray that I will be able to hear the sound of a gentle rain without the ring added in.

Yet, I have to face the fact, this sound could be with me all my life. So I may have to find the comfort in the noise, as I sometimes already do.

I think the ringing does draws me to music. When my ears are focusing on the composition, it is like the static disappears. So I spend a good amount of time listening to music videos. This lead me discover k-pop, which is something that makes me happy.

In past I have wondered if this sound is connected to my psychic self. If somehow all this airy noise can be understood by my subconscious. Was I supposed to have this ringing? Does it serve a purpose unknown?

Categories: Beginnings

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