Beginnings

Why I have not been posting…

When I opened up my blog to my family, I felt like I should come out of the spiritual closet, but soon afterward I felt creatively stifled knowing that my Roman Catholic family would likely not understand my quest. I know that a number of my family now reads my blog (hello Mom) and I am not sure how I feel about it.

With my first ever blog my only real reader was my mother, once I forgot she was reading and posted about a trend on youtube that was rather disgusting. Soon my sister was scolding me for having made my Mom cry and that I shouldn’t have posted thus.

I continue to write on forums and have continued to occasionally hit on some inspired topics. (It is kind of hit or miss sometimes.) Yet, a lot of the topics are easily misunderstood without knowing the study that has gone into them. I am worried that my family would misunderstand if I started (for example) writing about extraterrestrials without knowing about the culture of Starseeds.

Personally, I have been studying many books from the 1920-1930’s. I did not set out to study this time period, but a lot of the books I have been reading are from this time. I attempted to read ‘Think and Grow Rich’ which is the stem of the ‘Law of Attraction’ teachings and released in 1937. (I found it boring compared to more recent books on the topic.) I have been listening to various Neville Goddard books from around the same time. And, recently, I have discovered that Hermann Hesse is a very good author and had a similar view of spirituality as I do. I have read the book ‘Demian’ and am working on ‘Siddhartha.’

‘Demian’ kind of reminds me of the process found in ‘Dark Side of the Light Chasers’ in that it is about accepting all human aspects (that thought of as bad along with the good.) On forums, I can assume that my readers are also on a similar quest and less likely to worry about me. I have decided therefore that this blog is for a different audience (now that my family views it.) In short, I need to explain the thought process to be understood.

I have looked into many kinds of beliefs that I draw from as inspiration. There are some belief systems that I like to ponder, such as the belief system of David Wilcock or Corey Goode. Yet, if you had not extensively looked into these belief systems that many write off as a conspiracy theory, you would not understand why I use them as examples so often.

I have developed a particular view an individual’s reality and how it shapes their life choices. I am a learned scholar in the field of personal realities. Yet, my studies are rather unconventional. Sometimes it would take a dissertation to convey an idea in such a way as to have it be understood. On forums, it is like I am talking to those who are already knowledgeable in my field. I used to assume that with my blog as well. Yet, now I know that not only can I be misunderstood by my family, but it could potentially cause them distress.

So readers, fear not, I continue to practice my writing and pursue my personal studies. I continue to come upon a topic to consider and ponder it in the form of writing. Someday I might be able to write my dissertation.

Categories: Beginnings

1 reply »

  1. None of my family knows about my blog. My fiance knows about it but doesn’t read it because spirituality is not his forte. Frankly there is no way I could freely express myself in terms of my spirituality to my family and be comfortable with that. Some of them know aspects. This is the Bible belt though so I must filter. For me personally, the blogging experience would no longer be fun if I felt like I had to continuously defend myself by explaining everything in depth. I feel like many people would read certain words and then immediately strike me off ignoring the associated content. My blog is my escape from that closeting in my life. I hope you will be able to still enjoy blogging.

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