Beginnings

Internet Woes

Progress on the Internet is so terribly slow. There are no topics on the Forums I want to reply to and half the time you write anything you are given Spiritual answers about how you are doing things wrong. If you express the discouragement you feel about everyone waiting for the world to change you are told to be higher vibration and meditate more.

The other day I was sharing posts of interesting topics that I felt related to Bashar on the Facebook Bashar Group. Bashar has talked about so many things. Well today I was told to only post things directly about Bashar and that most my posts were taken down. So I left the Bashar Facebook group because while it was interesting when they had a wider variety of topics, now it is basically Bashar Memes and boring.

I continue to get comments on my post about Bashar’s Youtube channel being down. I am seriously debating just taking the post off my site. Yes, it reads like a conspiracy theory. I had a fun time writing it. Yet, everyone takes it so seriously.

I was very upset to be told to stay on topic at the Bashar Group. Here I had found people interested in the same things as me, or so I thought. The other day I enjoyed posting the quality posts I had found. I got lots of positive response.

In my life, I have no one to really share my interests with. I know I am not supposed to point out how unsuccessful my Blog is. How many years I have been Blogging and how few people seem to care. This is my kingdom where I experience the Freedom to write about any topic that I want. However, due to the variety of my topics. I am not really marketable. I do not write for a niche audience. I write to write.

Part of me wants to throw in the towel. Yet, I do not want to pursue a career in my life either. This was my hope to survive doing what I loved instead of spending my time doing things I really don’t care about.

Honestly, I don’t know. I love to listen to Abraham-Hicks now in the hopes that just maybe I can get abundance without having to put on the fake face. The only reason I really listen is the hopes that I can be rich even if I cannot imagine how.

Similarly with Bashar, his advice is to follow your excitement to the best of you ability without any insistence on the outcome. Well I followed my excitement with the posts on the Bashar group and the outcome was being told I wasn’t following the guidelines of the group. I follow excitement in this Blog, writing whatever I want. The outcome is the realization that most people don’t care what I have to say. They would rather read one post by me, written as freely as I write, and tell me it isn’t logical. Did I say it was logical? Am I in a school waiting for my grade on a paper?

I am sorry, but it is neither my job to offer wisdom or my job to entertain with my writing. Bashar says everyone has an audience waiting for what they have to say. To just follow your passion and there is someone who needs to hear what you have to say. My audience I guess is very small.

I have decided I am not doing the Professionalism game in a career. This Blog apparently isn’t going to be a career either. I have decided that I am going to play Pokemon Go in my free time once my current position as a Nanny is gone. I will live off of my Disability.

As for dreams of richness. Dreams of being able to survive doing what I Love. Well, that is what the Lottery is for. I am going to win the Lottery, I don’t need to make money writing. I do not need to make it as an artist. Warping what I am writing for an audience, not appealing. Marketing myself in any way, is not in my excitement. I will be raw and as real as possible.

So I will tell you. Yes, I totally am going to win the Lottery. I do not need to worry about marketing myself in job interviews. I do not have to write to please anyone, but myself. If you are going to restrict what I can express in your group. I am leaving your group.

I do not have to defend what I write. If I want to go full out Guru or full out Conspiracy Theorist… I am writing it because I enjoy taking on that persona at the moment. I am sad right now and taking on the emotion of sadness when writing. Do not assume I am less enlightened or low vibration because I so adequately express myself in the emotion. I have written posts on the emotion of confidence just as adeptly… here is the example.

Categories: Beginnings

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