Beginnings

Reality is apparently very apparent

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The past is echoing at me now. These Photos were taken so long ago… I have not collected what I am going to write yet. Honestly I a little bored. Entertainment is available to me from all angles. I have Audiobooks to listen to, in fact, I finished up one earlier today called Thank and Grow Rich. I could easily start another audiobook, but my focus on that area is spent.

Part of me wants to watch a channeling of Bashar, but I am attempting to save money. So it is just me and the Internet slowly wasting time. I watched some K-pop music videos and caught up on all things K-pop news. I even watched videos of Got7 reacting to BTS and BTS reacting to Got7.

Before I talk too much about K-pop, if I haven’t lost you already, it would be best to pick up the mood of this post. I remember my first blog was all about elevating the mood with jokes (in my weird sense of humor) and pictures of cute things. It was literally a throwback to Dancing Hamsters and such.

Now I am more mellow and most people wouldn’t guess that my sense of humor it a bit innocent and youthful. I am quite talented at making the youngins laugh, but not so much the adults. I come here and post with all seriousness. A mature, intelligent adult it is hard for me to show my silly side to other adults.

The moment hangs in the air. I am not reaching out to grasp any greater wisdom. Just following the path my mind is taking. It amazes me how little I know. How little I actually know. In this moment a computer sits on my lap. A messy room surrounds me. To a cat, I would appear in a deep meditation as my fingers slowly move across the keys.

Everything else, other than what I can see around me, I do not really know how real it is. Most of the things I believe were originally taught to me in school. Until I stopped living by what was taught to me there and followed the spoken words and writings of others. I had my original reality shatter when I was ill. It shattered under the pressure of how unstable of a foundation it was to build a life on. So I have picked up other people’s versions of reality and placed it as my reality instead.

Yet, honestly, on the deepest level, my reality is very basic. It is the knowledge of how to survive in the world. That if I stand by a bus stop, and understand the schedule, I can get from point a to point b. I know how to use a debit card to eat out and buy groceries and I know not to go beyond the number on my bank account when budgeting.

Concepts like the Law of Attraction really do not make much sense to me. Because I already live a simple life with gratitude. I do not spend extensive time in worry. I do spend a lot of time and money looking into other people’s versions of reality. Perhaps because my own is so feeble and basic.

I used to read a lot of Manga online. I used to watch Anime. I used to finish books. I used to watch television shows and movies. I do not know why I moved away from these things. It happened sometime during the years where I was sleeping 16 hours every day. The years I was locked away in my room.

I returned to the world, yet I did not return the same person. I had to find my place in the world, and still, honestly, I lack the motivation to go the career path that my family has been pushing me on.

If I could only make it doing this. Writing on my Blog. While I am getting more advanced at getting views. I am only making pennies with the vast amount of advertising on the site. (I think, as it takes 6 months for the earnings to appear, I have no idea how much money I made the last and this month.)

Bashar says, “STOP having it need to make sense for you to make money.” Yet, it doesn’t make sense and I am also not making any money on my blog. These windfalls that Abraham Hick and others promise for following your excitement/dream, they have not been appearing.

Yet, I will continue to listen to Abraham and continue hoping that I can uncover what I am doing wrong. As far as I can tell, based on Abraham’s teachings, I should be a multimillionaire or a billionaire.

Thought this video added to the post… K-pop all the way!

 

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