Beginnings

Using a Pseudonym while attempting to build a name for myself – talk of Disability

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Honestly, it would have been better to pick a fake name over creating a username into an brand. Yet, PeaceNowFlower is how I started out and I concluded I had more freedom to pursue the corners of the New Age Internet using it as a Pseudonym over having potential job offers discover my sometimes very ‘far out there’ writings.

The user name Intuitive Voyage was taken when I attempted to create this site so I just used that as a secondary name for the Blog… though it would make sense to just change to PeaceNowFlower. Hay House sent out a free video series for potential authors telling advice on how to get published. One recommendation was to use your real name over a brand name.

However, when you are torn between finding Full-time Employment or creating a name for oneself through writing and art… when family members would not always understand your uniqueness, many in the  Community feel more free to express themselves under a Pseudonym.

I can also talk about being on disability and without an potential employer turning me down because I felt the need to express myself. Honestly, the professional view to never tell your employer you are disabled, if you have an invisible disability, is cruel. How is the Stigma of taking part in Mental Health ever going to be overcome if everyone is forced to hide their disability.

I am an extremely stable individual. Some reading what they feel is ‘woo woo’ might question this, but that isn’t a Mental Health issue that is me being what society considers weird. It is easy for individuals who do not agree with someone who is Spiritually based in the Spiritual/New Age/Occult/Starseed/Channeling/Etc Community to write them off as crazy.

On the other hand, it is common for me to be written off as not Spiritual enough by people inside the Spiritual Community because I admit to taking medication.

The best way to fight the Stigma of what some others would call Mental Illness is to be myself. To admit I am on Disability, to admit I am on Medication, and to admit the very depths of my beliefs.

Someday the Mental Health system might change to the point that a Doctor is welling to let me off medication, but until I have help in the process from a Professional who assures me, I would be so afraid of becoming unstable without Medication that the fear would make me unstable.

There is no shame in needing Medication. I just think my need for Mental Health Care was due to an hugely unbalanced thyroid. Once my thyroid became balanced my moods became less like depression.

I also fight another deeper Stigma within against Mental Health. The original Stigma is fading for those who just have mood problems and have never needed to take medication for psychosis. I have been in what Doctors term psychosis. I learned a great deal from it.

Over the years I have been able to stabilize my fears of returning to such a state. I used to use the label and over analyze my thoughts. It didn’t help that I was fascinated by things society writes off as crazy (ghosts, spirits, faeries, angels, aliens.)

After over 9 years with no hospitalizations, I have come to have more confidence in my stability. I am more confident that I can tell the difference between psychic and psychosis.

Am I what many would consider weird? Yes, I have been all my life. Am I crazy? No, and I can tell because I know what psychosis is.

1 reply »

  1. Authors have been using pen names for ages. Certainly didn’t keep Twain’s work from selling. Using a birth name is just out of the question for some, myself included. If not totally satisfied with the name of Peace Now Flower, feeling like it is more of a brand than a name, you could consider creating a different name. It is common for witchy ladies to have a seperate witchy name for that aspect of their lives. When I used to post poetry, some very emotional, I did that under a pen name for the sake of privacy.

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