Grey Morning: Still wonderful


Here I am with my Lemongrass Chai. I am just being before things get busy at work. Just as long as I look alert and able to help, I have permission to post during the slow times. It seems on Saturday Morning a great deal of people do not choose to be at the library.

I did not want to go to bed early last night to make up for having to get up earlier. I took melatonin to help me fall asleep faster, given I keep later hours on the days I do not work in the morning. Sometimes the melatonin works quickly, but this time I was tossing and turning a bit. Let me see if I can access my dream now. No… just vague remembering that something was going on.

There is something peaceful about this grey quiet morning as it creeps closer to afternoon. The way the light makes the grey clouds luminous. The gentle background noise of a few walking feet and the heater. The level of noise will pick up throughout the day. Yet, now a stillness fills the library as it kind of sounds like a traditional library save for the sound of keys being pressed on a keyboard.

A deep yawn escapes me, and it is time for me to get up to move around. In actuality the Chai is hidden behind me so that I need to stand up to access it. I made two kinds of Chai from a powder so that it would last twice as long.

As the weeks go by without getting a call for the Night Position, I start to wonder if I will be interviewed at all. I have decided that if offered the position, I would take it. The hours would take getting used to, but I would still get the chance to write when things are slow like today. I am just afraid that on the days where I sleep 12 hours, I would see no sunlight at all. However, having a set schedule would  be good for me, even if it is a Night Shift.

As there are already nights (though not recently) where I am up to 4am. I think I could quickly adapt to the late night hours, and as there is room for creativity in the slow time along with likely more variety than working in a student position at a library. I think it would be what Matt Kahn refers to as being paid for Integration.

You see I want to really give the professional path a try if only to hold me over until the creative path starts supporting me. For all I know, I could actually love the challenge of professionalism. I have gotten a skewed view of working at a library from the fact that it is mostly desk hours. I would have more responsibility and more to learn to work as a Staff member.

Yet, I am unsure if I will be called in for an interview. Yet, I have made up my mind now. I am going to stop dividing my energy between the Artistic and Practical aspects of me. I am going to put on my professional face. I do not know how long it will take me to start attracting abundance for blogging/art. Yes, I am completely worthy of making a living doing what I love, but the Practical side of me questions still the reliability of the Law of Attraction.

So I want a stable position to satisfy the more Traditional side of myself. A numerologist told me once that I am a person torn between two energies. The Innovative/Creative and the Traditional/Logical. I need to start paying respect to the Traditional/Logical side of myself. I need to find balance and I think this Night Shift position will offer me a chance to merge the two sides of myself until the Traditional/Logical side of myself agrees with following the passion of the Innovative/Creative side.

I decided to follow the Innovative/Creative side when I went to college. My roommate followed the Traditional/Logical side of himself. To each other I think we represented the side of our self we rejected.

It is easier for some to follow the Innovative/Creative side because they do not have as strong of a Traditional/Logical balance point. Even if my brain has largely grown on one side since I went to art school, the other side of me deserves respect too. If I ignore it, it would be similar to what Bashar calls, “Jumping off a cliff with no parachute.”

So I focus the two half of myself to work together. I look forward to this opportunity as a new challenge that will hold plenty of room for creativity.

Categories: Beginnings

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