Beginnings

Sometimes you have to let the emotions flow…

Yesterday after reading on Huffington Post that the Republicans were planning on gutting Social Security and Medicare, I was quite upset. Even if jobs are opened up in my workplace after many years of nothing, last time I applied for a job there, I did not even get a call. I do not really believe that I will be hired and even if the postings for the site have not been up long, part of me is having trouble writing the Cover letters to the positions.

Today would be a good day to do so, as I am kind of snowed in for the time being. I usually do not manage to do much on Sundays as the buses do not run as late. Sunday is a pretty consistent stay at home, or, in good weather, walk long distances day for me.

My sister had an errand to run and brought me back a Tea Latte and it is still early enough in the day that it should be harmless to drink. I am still remembering the day when I had a Tea Latte late at night, and could not sleep all night. Usually, I can have tea at night and sleep fine, but as of late I have had to step away from my daily Iced Tea because sleep is harder than it used to be. Some would say it is the ascension energies.

Anyway, after reading that Huffington Post, I was upset and tried channeling. I was at work and often would delete the words after I channeled them so a co-worker did not come by and read them. I did manage to post a little bit of the channeling.

I have trained myself to pick back up where I started after being called to help others in my workplace. I can Read, Write and Channel as needed with breaks at any moment to do my job. I asked for permission to write at work long ago.

So when I wanted to try channeling, in the Summer at work when things are not busy, I had plenty of time for practice. The parts I didn’t post yesterday, where mainly reassurances that everything would be O.K. Also a bit about practicing speaking the words I write out loud as I write them, even if in a whisper so I get used to channeling with my voice and not a keyboard. You see when I try channeling vocally I get one sentence out and freeze. It does not flow from one sentence to the next.

Anyway, the channeling was only comforting as I channeled it. After work, I tried to get back into the state of comfort by channeling again, but I was too tired. Remember the reassurance of other channelers did not help either.

So I decided to listen to a short meditation on abundance. Even if the meditation was supposed to make me feel abundant with fears of losing Social Security, it mainly made me cry.

Next, I pulled out a short audiobook on Shamanic Journeying. I choose to visit the Upper World and while listening to the drums climbed up the 400 0r more year old White Oak in the backyard of my childhood home. I soon jumped from star to star till there were no more stars. I went up past the crystal city and many of the places I had read about in NDE’s. After a while, I came to a realm where universes exist in clear marbles. I had been calling out, “Are you my teacher?” as I jumped or swam up and up. At some point, I had come across a teacher, and remember I was supposed to ask for a teacher in human form. Soon after asking I saw Jesus, who became a Mary, who became a Native American dancing in ceremonial garb to the beat of the drums. They told me that Standing Rock would be a success (which was not my question), but I asked about the Pipeline in Lake Michigan. They said, to focus on one thing at a time. Yet, that the victory at Standing Rock was a symbol of many victories to come.

The Huffington Post had also posted an article that despite the Army Corp saying that they were halting construction, the company in charge of the pipeline was still saying that they would finish the project. Trump was saying he would review Obama’s decision in the first month of his office.

After having originally told me not to go any higher, I was told that it was now time to go higher in the Upper World than the realm where all Universes exist like balls of light. As soon as I reached the next level, the drumming signaled it was time to return. I said goodbye and journeyed quickly back the way I had come to the base of the White Oak Tree.

Yet, I was still not comforted, and now felt it was not the time to attempt a journey again. The journey had only been 10 minutes but seemed longer. After attempting to sleep I looked at the clock and realized that it was too early for me to easily sleep.

I got up and an expensive chocolate bar, where I had bought one as a gift and one for me. Caught up in the fears of losing Abundance as the Republicans take away Social Security after having read so many SaLuSa Channelings (now Mike Quinsey’s Higher Self), and even read many Sheldon Nidle Channelings, where the ultimate Abundance was only just a little bit away. I had gotten tired of reading that things were happening ‘Soon’ and stopped reading these channelings. I ate the expensive chocolate bar thinking of a world where I no longer had the Abundance to buy such candy bars. I drank the organic milk that the richness of the candy bar required thinking of the world where people were no longer Abundant enough to invest in Organic Foods.

I cried my fears that everything I had been building my identity on was a lie. I cried the fears that all the channelings I had listened to had been wrong. I cried silently and deeply and with myself in the emotion. Then I wondered if this were true and Abundance was about to be stolen from me while I return to a state of barely being awake because they would put me on a cheaper medication and force me to take it. How then would I like to spend the remaining time before happiness was stolen from me? Would I rather spend it upset or following my excitement?

This is not the first time, that fears that everything Spiritual was a lie. It may not even be the last. Yet, I felt much better after letting all that emotion out. It was like I had worked through some negative definitions, not by defeating them with logic, but by listening and not judging them.

Categories: Beginnings

2 replies »

  1. Sometimes you just have to accept your feelings a let them flow through and out of you. Tears can be cleansing. They show that emotions are surfacing and working their way out. I am all for using spiritual methods to soothe oneself, but who says crying can’t be spiritual? It must serve some important purpose or human’s wouldn’t be programmed to cry when they strongly feel unpleasant emotions.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s