First Page… unedited


I wrote maybe one or two pages, of what my book might start out like. It is influenced by the writing/teaching style of David Wilcock so far (uses knowledge and links to web articles).

Anyway, Title not yet decided (Insert title later),

I don’t pretend to understand Reality, and question anyone who does. I flip flop on every topic. The only thing that seems to withstand my wavering views is a deep belief in the mysticism of life.

I could go by many labels, which I periodically accept and reject. Labels like: Schizoaffective, Lightworker, Psychic, Starseed, and Old Soul. I have an unwavering insistence to study Reality from many perspectives. Not the boring perspective of the Scientist, though sometimes even that can be rich with mysticism, but the perspective of those rejected by the Mainstream.

For when I was first diagnosed, at that time misdiagnosed Bipolar Type I with Psychosis, I wondered if I was in fact not Mentally Ill, but had a majority psychic awakening. I was so confused by my brain working differently, I overreached. Wondering further and further from accepted Reality.

There are times in my life, when if I had written a book, it would have been the story of someone struggling with psychosis and coming to an acceptance of being ill. Yet, the more and more I looked at the views outside of the mainstream. The more I realized that freedom of thought was under attack.

A lot of experiences once considered normal to human life were being labeled under the category of the Mentally ill. Long ago, a (wo)man could struggle with the forces of good and evil and not be considered ill. Similarly plenty of sane people can and do exhibit certain qualities said to be part of an illness, while living productive lives.

The most obvious of which is the psychic, who is respected (by some) for being able to hear, and see what others cannot. These are considered the ‘Clairs’ as in clairaudience (clear hearing), clairvoyance (clear seeing), clairsentience (clear feeling), clairscent (clear smelling), clairtangency, (clear touching), clairgustance (clear tasting), clairempathy (clear emotion) and channeling. (Murphy, 2006)

In each of these ‘Clairs’ a person is able to sense something another person cannot. Not only are people able to function perfectly well as psychics, some even make a living as a Lightworker, or Intuitive of many kinds. Some go on to write books such as Lorna Bryne in her books Angel’s in my Hair and Stairways to Heaven. Reading her book was very eye opening for me, suddenly I stopped questioning if I had been psychotic all my life, and instead realized that there was more to human reality then covered by Science.

In fact Science’s narrow definition of what is normal human thought, is so limited that it likely causes many sane humans to question their Sanity. I ask you, if a person able to live a happy and productive life, and they have any or all the ‘Clairs,’ are they really insane?

If society considers these people living life with the ‘Clairs’ insane, I’d say that the percentage of people considered mentally ill would rise. In the article “Abnormal is the New Normal” Robin S. Rosenberg reports a study where 46.4 percent of Americans will be considered Mentally Ill in their lifetime. If you included all the people who just secretly hold their ‘insane’ thoughts to themselves, and live life labeled as normal, which I believe is a great majority of the ‘normal’ population, the percentage increases.

Then consider adding to that list all the people who are Psychics, Lightworkers, Starseeds, Wonders, Shamans, Old Souls, ect, who have never been a psychiatrists office. I’d say, “You are more likely ‘insane,’ if you fit into societies definition of sanity.”

Rosenberg further argues that societies definition of mental illness has grown to include many aspects that were once considered normal. This is mainly because the DSM has increased the number of disorders almost every time it was updated. (Rosenberg, 2013)


About here I suddenly ran out of interest in following this excitement at the moment. I might continue this book tomorrow (or sometime this week), but in case I don’t I thought I should post it.

Keeping my interest on the same story long enough to write a book will be difficult for me. I follow Passion or Excitement a little too well when it comes to writing, and discipline less. I can hold my interest long enough to write a post, but a book?

Either way, my excitement today was to write. I wrote three posts. I’d say this was my highest excitement at the moment. (When I am able to write it usually is my highest excitement of the moment.) Now for my next following of excitement.

I feel the coffee at had at 2pm still giving me energy, hopefully it will wear off in time to get to bed at a hour. Where I am it is already almost 1am. Coffee can be unpredictable for me. Sometimes it has no effect on my sleep, and other times it completely ruins my schedule. (Takes more then 8 hours to exit my system at times. So as much as I love coffee, I reserve it for once a week, or less. This makes me a avid tea drinker.)

I might need to have Melatonin tonight.

So with sometime before I have to settle for sleep… I am a night owl. I need to find my next highest excitement… which my stomach just told me is food, and I need water (or lemonade).




Categories: Beginnings

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