I wrote this years ago, I was converting some posts to drafts and found it again.
I am thinking about my past today, and just remembered one of my biggest fears growing up. My Grandmother had Alzheimer’s (or what we thought was Alzheimer’s). As I slowly watched her lose her memories, I wondered what life is like for her. What did it feel like to slowly lose yourself? As this runs in families I was afraid I too would have Alzheimer’s, so I prayed to God about it. I told God to ‘not touch my brain. I can have any other illness, but not a brain illness.’
I held on to the memory of this thought all my life, but often forget the strong emotion that went behind it. Typing now I find it hard to convey the feeling behind this prayer. Such sadness and fear.
I am going back into memories more now.
I was young when my Grandfather died. I don’t have many memories of him, but…
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