My tough shell

I have so much to learn, but the journey promises to be fun. Luckily there is a Intuitive group in the area so I am not looking at the Intuitive world solely from books.

At the meetings so much of it just flies over my head. When the official meeting is done and it is social time I am a little lost.

Those years in my room were solitary and in my life I was never reasonability social. When I transitioned to new stages in life I didn’t keep in touch with my few friends. Luckily my family is big, and so I am not completely alone. It just stings a little to know I am friendless.

So I randomly join groups. I hope to make friends, but I soon stop going to the meetings. This pattern didn’t happen with the Intuitive group. The topics addressed were far too compelling. I have yet to make true friends, just wonderful people.

At times I wondered if I should join a Christian group, just to get another side to the story. I admit the child in me would have joined for another reason. I would be the sinner getting attention because I needed to be saved.

If you ever have been alone, then you understand this isn’t childish at all. (Reading my posts one might think I am asking for pity, but I am sharing my story. When I start a blank page is before me, and I have to figure out how to give it life.)

I am in no rush in my journey. I am busy living life. When I was hidden in my room, it felt like I was just waiting to die. Now I have a purpose in life, and I am glad I didn’t.

I am helping others. At times I worry that I did succeed in killing myself and all my effort is pointless. I will not focus on this. I have written enough sadness.

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